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Awkward Night - The Exes and Honoraries of Chaddaisy [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The Exes and Honoraries of Chaddaisy

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Awkward Night [Sep. 30th, 2006|06:48 pm]
The Exes and Honoraries of Chaddaisy
[Current Location |dreamland]
[mood |goodgood]
[music |Kelly Clarkson...yes I'm a fan so what?]

The night started interestingly enough. Chad and I had known each other for a couple of months, so I decided to invite him to dinner at my house along with a whole bunch of my friends. We had fettuccini alfrado (cheese…hehehe), and a whole bunch of stuff that he really couldn’t eat. I felt bad so I got some veggies for him and a salad. He got there kind of late, and Jay had decided to sit next to me that night. 
Jay history: He took me to prom and there was some kissing, and afterwards I felt bad b/c Chad was going to take me to choir banquet the weekend after that. I really liked Chad at the time, so you can understand my dilemma. 
So, Chad sat at the other end of the table by Ashley, who never thought too fondly of him. Jennifer apologized that we were eating chicken and all kinds of animal products in front of him. At the time, I didn’t know the whole story behind his “vegan” lifestyle. He made a joke about how we were eating unholy food, and everyone but Ashley understood that he was kidding (at least we believed he was kidding). She started questioning about it and practically called him rude and a bad person for making such comments. I should point out that the moment Chad walked into the house the tension was so high. I was so confused about the two of us and had talked to my close friends about it. They of course wanted things to work out the best for my sake, and Jay…well, you can just imagine the tensions b/t he and Chad. 
Chad and I really didn’t talk that much, even though I wanted to so bad. Yes, I really liked him. No guy before had ever shown me that much attention. I sort of didn’t know how to handle it, so the situation got worse b/c of that. Plus he was dating Katherine (sp) at the time, making things more complicated. (Again, I feel so badly about that). We started playing music, and Journey came on. Now this was pretty funny in my eyes. He said, “Wow, Journey didn’t suck for a moment there.” Lesley and Jennifer, who are HUGE Journey fans jumped on him and starting hitting him, kind of like in the same fashion a little sister would try to beat up her big brother. But instead of lightening up the mood, it only made things worse. Jay wasn’t doing too well with Chad either after “trying” to get into conversations between him and Michael (Jennifer’s then b/f). Jay moped. 
The straw that broke the camel’s back that night was the conversation Jennifer had with him. “You know, every time you say you like her or call her beautiful, you hurt her.” This was true I must admit, knowing that he and I couldn’t be together, he had a girlfriend, and I’m a sap when it comes to romance or just liking someone. When it came time to watch a movie, he said he had to go because it had been a long day. I knew why he wanted to go. The tension was so think that nigh, even I wanted to leave my own house. I walked up to him and gave him a hug and asked him why he really needed to go, and we walked outside. He apologized for hurting me. It didn’t feel any better. I felt worse. I thought I was really hurting his feelings and I didn’t want him thinking that I liked him any less. I liked him more and more everyday, making it more and more confusing to think about. He’s a drug, ladies, but you know this. He started saying that things were going to end up going well b/t him and Katherine and that he was sticking to whatever plan he had. I gave him a hug, and he left. 
I cried that night after talking with Jennifer. It wasn’t the downfall, but it was a huge bump that should have warned me for the future.
This is my last post for the community. I really have nothing more to say. I just wanted to share this story b/c I thought it was important to share. And yes, it is public. I feel like I need it to be that way. It’s a story that I need to tell. My heart has been pounding while writing this, but it has to be done for my sake. You’re all still my friends, so I’ll stay a member of the community, just not a posting member. I’m sorry if I’m letting you down, just I think it’s time for me to let go. A lot about me has changed since that night. I should recognize that myself. I hope you understand, and thank you for giving me this opportunity to vent out what ever I had to say about Chad-daisy. 
Don’t be a stranger.
Smiles. =)
<3, Plucky/Laura

[User Picture]From: aeryn42
2006-10-01 12:10 am (UTC)

*dusty monitor internet hugs*

Life gets better.
At your age I didn't know that, but life does get better.

You're probably sick of hearing that, but that's okay, I was sick of hearing that too. Still am, actually. The way you see things changes, but the things that happen to you remain the same. I think reading events like this and going back and reading what I had gone through in the past just cements it all-- you choose what you take with yourself, and you're a better person for it. Usually. I'm glad you've decided to let go. You deserve to do that.
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From: munchkinjetgirl
2006-10-01 01:58 pm (UTC)

Re: *dusty monitor internet hugs*

I've told myself that so many times. I'm sick of myself telling me that same thing. But thank you for saying that. It means a lot. =)
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From: munchkinjetgirl
2006-10-01 02:12 am (UTC)
i'm removing myself from this community all together. It just feels like that's the right thing to do. I don't want to be part of the subject any longer, and that includes reading the subject. I have my memories and I want them to stay positive.
I hope you all understand.
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-10-01 09:30 am (UTC)
"Now the energy is comin back
Set an example, a positive pattern, keep life on track
But I'm married to the music and committed to the wax
Tapes, CDs
Baby please, you make me wanna scream
You're on my team startin first string so why are we arguin?"
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From: munchkinjetgirl
2006-10-01 01:55 pm (UTC)
Another anonymous reader. I'm tired. Please either show yourself or stop leaving such strange little messages.
It doesn't even make sense what you posted, at least not to me. Just tell me who you are and things would be much better.
Why is it that people feel like they can do this and just leave people confused? I mean come on, stop acting so childish.
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From: stargazerdaisy
2006-10-01 04:52 pm (UTC)
just get your yaya sisterhood to run the IP.
not like you're not gunna. (i.e. sometimes i can't run the intertuuuubes). it was just what lyrics was on when i went to bed. didn;t have some deeeeep meaning.
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From: munchkinjetgirl
2006-10-02 02:03 pm (UTC)
Then don't waste my time with such crap.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear...I LEFT THIS GROUP!!! Get over it.
You need to stop trying to make people feel dumber than they are, especially when they aren't at all. You're acting like a child. So what if these girls are saying stuff that you don't like? We all have people who don't like us, but we don't let them run our lives, nor do we cause them any more pain. Dear God, why do you have to be such a..."well, being a Christian woman I can't say it".
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[User Picture]From: politikitty
2006-10-01 02:29 pm (UTC)
Hey, you should know we're never about the hard feelings. You do whatever makes you happy. It was good to get to know you, even under the odd circumstance.
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From: stargazerdaisy
2006-10-01 05:26 pm (UTC)
awesome! you guys banned my ex-girlfriend Julie!
hahahahaha. man, you guys!
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[User Picture]From: politikitty
2006-10-02 12:43 pm (UTC)
Well, and this isn't saying much, as far as we've ever heard from you, Julie is only a close friend. But she's certainly welcome to use the comment feature to clear the air like the rest of us.

I could apologize for having sex in her sheets.
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From: antipop_phenom
2006-10-03 03:44 am (UTC)

How would you know that?

I'd hate to think that you'd be so anxious to see what's posted that you'd ask a friend to try and join the community.

How very unchadlike.
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From: munchkinjetgirl
2006-10-03 04:27 am (UTC)
Although it does sound like a trick to have up one's sleeve, we can't be sure. Though I will side on you with the fact that it is a low trick at that.
What I'm surprised at is that he hasn't publicly tried to make us seem stupid or unworthy of his presence or something like that. Hiding behind your friends I see. How unworthy are YOU and how low you seem to be causing a stir in criticizing others for their looks and unwillingness to befriend you again after you yourself cut us all off from coexisting with you as friends?
Be careful of what you might say my dear Chad, because there will always be something for me to say. I used to respect you, even after you told me to get out of your life. I held out my hand in friendship and you spat on it. I apologized for something I didn't need to apologize for, and you called me what I am not. You belittle my friends for no reason, and childishly at that. To say you are the scum of the earth does not even cover it all. You were once a bright young man with his whole life ahead of him. Now look at you. Whipped by some girl you fell "in love with" only after one night. I've kept this in for far too long, and now it comes out. For shame you starbucks working conformist. May God have mercy on your hating soul. I have forgiven you before, but now I know that it was wasted. My regret is this: not letting go of a possible saving of our friendship sooner. I wasted my thoughts on you and how will I ever get them back.
I have become stronger. I have changed because of you. I am beautiful. You said it yourself, and I will only become better with the person I am. Shoot me down however you like, but you will not succeed. So many dreams you had wasted. I shake my head in disappointment. And I walk away with no turning back. You'll understand one day of what my feelings are and were, and you will see what all you left behind. You will mourn the loss of friendships you murdered because of your own selfish pride. I can only hope you do better for yourself, and find the path that you once dreamed of setting foot on.
I've said my peace. Now grow up and behave like the person I know you are inside. The guy with the good heart who longs for the right love. I hope you understand.
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[User Picture]From: aeryn42
2006-10-03 09:18 pm (UTC)
You never mentioned dating her to me (or, I suppose, us). Only sleeping with Rachelle in her bed and something about "messed-up ears", but I don't remember the exact term.
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